strike a violent pose
by Ms.Informed13
Summary: "Kara nodded, and followed Lena's lead into the apartment. If felt strange and alien, being here again after everything that had happened. Being a stranger somewhere that once felt like home. The apartment was largely the same. Same couch, same coffee table, same books in the book case, same frame- different picture on the end table." Supercorp AU One shot, ex-lovers


**A/N- This is the something sad I've been working on. Don't really know how to explain it, but it's sad and it's sweet, and give it a read. I hate autobiographical fanfiction, but I wrote this after doing exactly what I wrote Kara did with the mug she found with one from my ex. Sorry not sorry.**

 **...**

Lena called her and so she came. Kara was sitting in a coffee shop, not the one they used to sit at, the one they used to go to together, the one with the noisy espresso machine and the old books and the comfy chairs, but a new one. This one is blocks away, where Lena doesn't walk, there are no large comfy armchairs, and the espresso machine is shiny and new and it doesn't interrupt her writing. She was trying to write.

She was trying to write their breakup poem. She had been for weeks now but the words wouldn't come. She's a writer for crying out loud, she went to school to learn how to finesse the english language and though she's no poet, putting down her feelings like this has always helped. But she can't, not about this. She's tried sober and she's tried drunk, but she just can't write about the way she still misses how Lena's hair would tickle her nose in the early morning but she wouldn't move because she didn't want to wake her.

Lena called her and she put away her notebook and walked the blocks to Lena's apartment. She smiled at the old neighbor lady who was getting her mail. She took the stairs up four flights because she remembered that one time the elevator shuddered to a stop between floors. Lena was so scared, but they sat together on the floor of the elevator until the fire department arrived. That was the first time Lena said 'I love you'.

She took the stairs up four flights and knocked on her door. Two solid knocks, step back, hands in pockets, and wait. She didn't have to wait long before Lena answered the door. She was wearing a pair of black leggings and that sweater, the burgundy one that's chunky knit and hangs off her body like moss off a willow tree.

Her hair was messy and she wasn't wearing any makeup. She looked like she had just rolled out of bed. She looked perfect.

Lena took a moment, Kara could feel her gaze dragging up from her scuffed boots until she met her eyes, "I called my super and he tried fixing it and couldn't. He said it would be at least a week before he could get someone over to look at it, but I fear I might freeze to death before then."

Kara nodded, and followed Lena's lead into the apartment. If felt strange and alien, being here again after everything that had happened. Being a stranger somewhere that once felt like home. The apartment was largely the same. Same couch, same coffee table, same books in the book case, same frame- different picture on the end table.

In the simple silver frame that used to hold a picture of Lena and Kara at a street carnival on their five month anniversary was now a cute photo of Lena and her older brother when they were about six and twelve.

Kara tried to pretend that it didn't hurt too much. Part of her was proud because she knew how hard it was for Lena to go through Lex's trial and reconcile the monster he became with the hero she had grown up with. Most of her hurt that she was so easily erased from the apartment and supposedly Lena's life.

The radiator was in the bedroom. The bed was made, of course it was- same grey sheets, same nest of pillows, same art prints on the wall. Kara ignored it all and went to the radiator in the corner, kneeling down, "Let's see what we're working with here."

Kara had fixed the radiator a few times in her nearly two and a half years of dating Lena, somehow she had the magic touch. A wrench was laying on the ground beside it, and Kara picked it up, turning it over in her hands. The initials L.L. were sharpied into the bottom in handwriting that definitely was not Lena's, and Kara wanted to ask.

She desperately wanted to ask about the new woman. She knew there was a new woman, she had seen the photos on snapchat and instagram- she was just slightly taller than Lena, short, dark, curly hair, strong jaw, she was undoubtedly beautiful- Kara knew that Lena had moved on.

She did not ask.

She fiddled with the knob of the radiator, nodding when it emitted a loud clunking sound. She deftly used the wrench to loosen then aggressively tighten the nut on the two connecting pipes. The radiator groaned in protest before sputtering to life.

"All set." Kara smiled, standing and brushing off the knees of her jeans.

"Thank you so much, you're a lifesaver." Lena said, sincerely.

"Yeah, if it goes out again, you've just got to loosen and then tighten it really quickly."

"I'll remember that." Lena nodded.

They fell silent. The awkward loaded quiet of two people who used to have everything, of two people who invented love and watched it all fall apart.

"I should probably-"

"Do you want to-"

They both started talking at the same time. Kara pushed a bit of her hair behind an ear and forged on, "I should go, I've got a meeting in a bit."

"Of course." Lena said, Kara convinced herself she was imagining the dejected tilt of her head. They walked together to the door, "Thanks again, really, you didn't have to come over, and well thanks." Lena rambled.

"Of course I had to come." Kara said, it was straightforward and without malice, "Take care."

She started off down the hall without waiting for a response.

…

They didn't talk for months. Kara finally found the words to write a breakup poem, Cat saw it on her desk, stole it, and ran it in the next magazine accompanying a 10 things about break ups listicle. Kara became a journalist.

She learned that the woman Lena was dating was named Lucy Lane- the younger sister of a famous journalist in Metropolis. She moved on, she dated around, not seriously, and she made herself a priority. Her lease ended and she moved to an apartment closer to her job, it's a loft in the heart of the city and it felt like she was finally moving on from the clueless twenty two year old who graduated college with stars in her eyes and a pep in her step. The day she moved out, she found a mug in the back of her cabinet. It was burgundy emblazoned with a white MIT logo.

She placed it on the counter and ignored it until all of her other belongings were boxed up. Alex and her girlfriend Maggie showed up to help her move everything out into the moving van she had rented for the day and Maggie was the one to ask about the mug on the counter.

"That's not your alma mater, little Danvers." She pointed out bluntly.

Kara picked up the mug, looking contemplatively at it, "No, it's not."

She turned it over a few times in her hands, running her thumb almost reverently over the white lettering. She let it dangle loosely from her fingers, in the back of her mind she could almost smell the bitter odor of the black coffee that used to fill it. A lifetime ago. Without warning, Kara gripped the mug securely, took a deep breath, and hurled it sharply at the brick wall where her TV used to be mounted. The mug exploded on impact, porcelain shards going everywhere.

Alex and Maggie shared a look, doing that silent communication thing that came naturally to two people who had been in a relationship for years.

"I'll grab the trash can." Alex said.

"I think I remember where I put the broom." Maggie chipped in.

The broken mug was cleaned in minutes, and the two older women studiously pretended that nothing had happened.

…

Two years passed. Kara's stories ran more and more regularly and her assignments got more and more serious until she was finally respected as an investigative journalist. She dated a man for three months, trying to convince herself that she didn't need someone with dark hair and a sharp jaw to make her feel whole. But his hands were always too rough, and his smile wasn't quite right and she broke up with him before either could get hurt.

Maggie and Alex got married, Kara was the best woman, smiling brightly and trying to stamp down the ache in her chest watching her sister and her wife dance slowly.

Kara ran into Lena in the last place she expected, a rally. It was early morning in February, and Kara was bundled securely in a home knit scarf and hat combo, her fingers freezing outside of gloves, hovering over the keypad of her cellphone- she was responsible for CatCo's live-tweet of the event. So far everything had been peaceful, it was still early and the steps of National City's Congress were filling slowly with people of all ages carrying signs.

The protest was over a proposed piece of legislation that would defend business's right to refuse service to people based on race, gender, or sexual orientation- a response to a recent court case concerning discrimination against a gay couple. The legislation was bringing out the worst and most hateful parts of the city, and Kara was struggling to stay neutral in her reporting.

She was scanning the opposition crowd, looking for people to get some quick quotes from, when her eyes locked with Lena's. She was just a few feet away, holding a sign that said 'Fuck your prejudices' in rainbow letters.

Kara should have known to expect no less.

She knew that Lena was single now, she had noted the sudden absence of Lucy from Lena's social media feed. She hated that she noticed, and even more she hated the bolt of hope that shot through her at the realization. Before she could second guess herself, Kara was weaving her way through the sea of bodies to reach Lena.

They stood for a moment, just looking at each other before Lena seemed to come into her usual confidence, "No sign?"

Kara waved her phone weakly, "I'm here for work. CatCo's live stream twitter."

Lena nodded, "I've seen some of your pieces, you're a great journalist."

"Thanks." Kara remembered the late evenings when she would uncertainly let Lena read pieces she wrote, absorbing every bit of reassurance the brunette could give her. She remembered the end, when they fought more than talked and Lena threw that uncertainty back in her face.

They lapsed in silence.

"How are you doing?" Kara asked.

"Good." Lena's lips tucked up in the corner in a reasonable facsimile of a smile, "I've been working in research and development, but mother has been pulling me more into the corporate side. I think she's about ready to leave the company and wants to make sure it stays in familial hands."

Kara remembered Lillian Luthor well. They had only met once, and the woman had scared the hell out of Kara, she could hardly have imagined growing up under her care. At the time it made her look at Lena with even more adoration.

They both don't acknowledge that Lena's brother should have been the one to assume control of Luthor Corp. Should have been, if he hadn't snapped and went on a spree that left over a dozen innocents dead.

A jostle from the crowd drew Kara out of the weird moment she and Lena had been having, "Duty calls." She said with a shrug, her eyes casting around the crowd that was growing restless.

"Stay safe." Lena's gaze was on the opposing side of the protest.

"You too."

Kara made it three steps away before a shout drew her attention, "Kara! Do you want to meet for coffee or something? To catch up?"

The reporter thought it over for a moment, "Yeah, I'd like that."

They met a week later, a different coffee shop, a neutral, slightly awkward conversation, a hug when they part. Kara hated how it felt like home. How she felt safe in Lena's arms despite everything that had happened.

Their coffee became a weekly thing, and just like that Kara found herself opening back up. She told Lena about her tension with Snapper, her boss, and in return Lena told her about her insecurities of being on the cusp of becoming the youngest CEO in Luthor Corp history. They didn't talk about their past relationship, that was still territory far too dangerous.

They didn't talk about it until they couldn't avoid it.

They were having coffee and the sound of glass breaking drew both of their gazes, a barista had dropped a cup and it shattered behind the counter. Kara looked to Lena and recognized the thought swirling behind her green eyes, they were both reliving the exact same memory. An awkward beat passed and Lena wrapped her hands more securely around her mug.

"Do you still have that mismatched glasses set?" Kara finally asked.

Lena's lips tucked up, not quite a smile, "I kept it for a couple of years, then most of them broke when I moved."

Kara remembered the assortment of odd wine glasses Lena had collected. A cobbled together collection of varying heights and shapes clashing perfectly with the rest of her put together apartment. She remembered the last time she drank from them. The last fight.

She had cooked dinner, Lena was working late- again- and Kara had cooked dinner. Lena didn't show up until half past midnight. Kara had been sitting and brooding and by the time Lena arrived, she was looking for a fight. A fight that Lena gave her.

It was worse than any of their previous fights. A knock down, drag out fight that left a neighbor banging on the shared wall and shouting for them to 'shut the fuck up already!' It started with Kara saying that Lena didn't have time and wasn't prioritizing their relationship and ended with Lena saying that Kara's expectations were so unrealistic she would never have a healthy relationship.

Somewhere in the middle Kara broke her wine glass, brought up Lena's insecurity about her family's reputation, her occasional cigarette smoking, harped on her unhealthy eating and sleeping habits, and told her she needed to 'fucking get over' Lillian's shitty parenting. Lena was no better, criticizing Kara's seeming naivety, her insecurity with her writing, her dependence on Alex, and her discomfort with talking about important topics.

They had been together for two and a half years, and they both knew exactly what to say to wound. Nothing was off limits.

Lena told Kara to 'get the hell out' and the blonde listened. She gathered her coat, keys, and purse, her boots crunched on the broken glass as she stalked to the door. She spared one last withering glare over her shoulder at Lena, parting with 'have a good fucking life, Luthor' before slamming the door behind her.

Later that night she would fume over wine and ice cream with her sister. Cursing the brunette's name until her anger gave way to despair and Alex held her as she cried it out. Lena didn't fare much better.

But they were both too proud, and young, and insecure. They believe the words they flung in anger and they let what they had spent years building together die.

Lena cleansed her apartment of everything that reminded her of Kara. She drank more than was strictly responsible, she went on a string of one night stands, she did not sleep with blondes anymore.

All because of this blonde. Sitting across from her, looking at her with guarded eyes.

They both started talking at once.

"Listen, nothing I said-"

"I am truly sorry about-"

They both stopped, smiled, laughed the smallest amount.

"God I've missed you." Lena whispered.

Kara reached over the table, covering Lena's hand with her own. It had been three and a half years since they had broken each other's hearts. Three and a half years, and Kara was done pretending that this relationship hadn't meant everything, "Me too."

...

 **A/N- Let me know what you thought, also if you have any prompt/ story recommendations.**


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